Crisis hotline volunteer peer counselors at Arizona's Teen Lifeline, based in Phoenix, are noticing an increasing number of tweens between ages 10 and 13 calling to talk about a new trend called VentTok.
These somber TikTok videos of people venting about problems in their lives can leave young viewers feeling frustrated, sad and angry.
A recent study by Common Sense Media reveals that 71% of kids in the United States get their first smartphone before age 12, with 91% having a phone by age 14. The same study revealed TikTok is the most popular social media app among young teens, with youths spending nearly two hours a day on the platform.
“We know our pre-teens and teens are going to use and view social media, whether it’s through their own account or a friend’s account,” said Nikki Kontz, clinical director at Teen Lifeline. “It’s important to protect our kids from the mental health concerns that come with social media use, so we have to teach them healthy, appropriate ways to interact with the different platforms.”
Kontz encourages parents to ensure their child meets the minimum age requirements for a social media account – that’s age 13 for most platforms – before signing them up. But talking about safe practices and setting an example for using social media can begin much younger.
Volunteers and clinical staff at Teen Lifeline urge parents to teach their children five steps for engaging with social media in a positive way.
1. Understand social media algorithms. Watching, liking, commenting on and sharing posts will tell social media algorithms to give a user more of that type of content. Encourage tweens and teens to pay attention to how posts make them feel and then follow and engage only with the accounts and people who make them feel good.
Remind your child it’s OK to block or unfollow people, accounts and posts that have a negative impact on how they feel.
2. Curate your social media feed. Social media platforms have different features that help users curate what they do and do not want to see in their feeds. For instance, you can tell TikTok to show you fewer videos about certain topics by tapping and holding the middle of the screen and then clicking the “Not Interested” button in the menu that pops up.
Instagram has a feature called “Restrict” that stops you from seeing comments and messages from people you don’t want to interact with online. The best part about this feature is that restricted people can’t see you’ve restricted them, making it perfect for family, friends or acquaintances you may be nervous about offending.
3. Remember social media is a highlight reel. Most influencers and even regular teens take dozens of photos of themselves before selecting the perfect one to come across looking flawless. When tweens compare themselves to others’ highlights on social media platforms, it can lead to self-judgement and low self-esteem.
4. Take frequent breaks. TikTok makes it easy to remember to take a break by providing a Screen Time feature that will prompt you to stop scrolling after a certain amount of time and will limit the amount of time you spend on the platform each day.
Scheduling planned activities your teen will enjoy will also make it easier for your child or teen to stay off screens for longer periods. Kontz encourages discussion about limiting phone use for everyone in the family, because calling out one family member or teen specifically for the amount of time they spend on their phone could make them feel defensive.
5. Use social media to connect. Discuss popular influencers and trends – both the positive ones and the problematic ones. Try TikTok or YouTube dances or challenges together with your tween or teen. Making social media a fun part of the parent-child relationship fosters connection.
Staff and volunteers at Teen Lifeline recommend restricting phone use, if appropriate, and taking phones away completely as a last resort for discipline, as it can also cut tweens and teens off from important connections to friends, family and mental health resources.
Teen Lifeline is an Arizona-based, 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization whose mission is to prevent teen suicide by enhancing resiliency in youth and fostering supportive communities. Established in 1986, Teen Lifeline is accredited through the American Association of Suicidology. Teen Lifeline received nearly 48,000 calls and text messages in 2023.
For more information, visit TeenLifeline.org. For help, call or text Teen Lifeline at 602-248-TEEN (8336) or 800-248-TEEN.
