If you can, think back to the morning of July 8th and let me know: Did you feel it? Did you feel just a little bit safer while you drank your coffee on that warm summer morning?
According to Facebook you should have noticed a distinct feeling of ease because The Mighty FB Algorithm rescued you from me, and I’m betting you didn’t even know you were in danger.
Here’s some background: on Nov. 23, 2022, the Queen Creek Sun Times and the CITYSunTimes published my column which dwelled on my quest to find lightweight luggage, a need precipitated by my frequent travel for work and my weenie biceps that were having trouble hoisting the standard roller bag into the overhead compartment without depending on a charming young man to help me, no doubt motivated by the fact that I resemble his great-grandmother. Unwilling to continue to depend on the kindness of strangers, I embarked on a mission to find Luggage I Can Lift, and managed to eke out a column to that effect.
Three days later, I shared that column with my personal Facebook friends list. My precise words as I shared it were, and I quote: “If anyone can turn me on to some great tiny luggage that holds a week's worth of clothes, hit me up.” Because, well, I was advertising my mission to find Luggage I Can Lift, and my friends list is brilliant, so what else was I gonna do?
I should note that I did this in a private post, visible only to friends and family seeing it through a barrage of weight-loss ads and viral TikTok invitations to see how much he would be missed after that horrible car crash. Spoiler Alert: I have no idea who ‘he’ is; all I know is you’re not supposed to click on the link.
That makes no difference: 591 days later (that would be the aforementioned July 8), Facebook removed that post in order to keep you all safe from my spam, and yes, they cited safety as their primary concern. Mr. Zuckerberg, and I can only assume it was he, as I’m sure he reviews these outrageous posts personally and this would certainly account for the fact that it took FIVE HUNDRED AND NINETY-ONE DAYS to spot my perfidy and exact scathing retribution because he must be way behind because he is, in fact, only one man, informed me that “It looks like you tried to get likes, follows, shares or video views in a misleading way.”
Well, of course I was hoping people would like it,THAT’S WHAT FACEBOOK IS FOR and there was nothing misleading about my need for a good luggage recommendation. I was quite upfront about that. The fine people at O’Rourke Media Group were hoping everyone would like it too! O Mighty Facebook, you invented the whole concept of likes on a post, and now you’re condemning me for doing exactly what you wanted me to do? Does it help if I point out that no one actually liked the column? Does that make you feel better?
Does it help if I remind you that I’m one of your backers here? I don’t sit around with my fellow boomers and complain about social media and how it’s wrecking society with everyone sitting around looking at their phones instead of each other. Quite the contrary: I use it! I embrace it! I have way too much of my personal self-worth invested in how many times people like pictures of my grandbabies, and now you’re punishing me for drinking your Kool-Aid and then sharing it with my embarrassingly small friends list? I don’t see all those viral TikTok car crash links getting sent to Facebook jail!
Well, two can play at this game, O Mighty Facebook: I’m not sure I like you very much right now, either.
Elizabeth Evans is a local mother, wife, daughter, sister, former stay-at-home mom, former work-outside-the-home mom, former work-at-home mom and a human resources consultant.
